thinking too much ruins it, friend!!!

TOO TRUE, BIRD!!!

now i'm dying to sing this in proper acapella style!!! such meaning in those words! i am of the opinion that billy joel was an excellent poet and lyricist and should've lived in the elizabethan age where romanticism was exalted.


For the Longest Time, by Billy Joel

Oh, oh, oh, oh
For the longest time
Oh, oh, oh, oh
For the longest time
If you said goodbye to me tonight
There would still be music left to write
What else could I do
I'm so inspired by you
That hasn't happened for the longest time

Once I thought my innocence was gone
Now I know that happiness goes on
That's where you found me
When you put your arms around me
I haven't been there for the longest time

Oh, oh, oh, oh
For the longest time
Oh, oh, oh, oh
For the longest
I'm that voice you're hearing in the hall
And the greatest miracle of all
Is how I need you
And how you needed me too
That hasn't happened for the longest time

Maybe this won't last very long
But you feel so right
And I could be wrong
Maybe I've been hoping too hard
But I've gone this far
And it's more than I hoped for

Who knows how much further we'll go on
Maybe I'll be sorry when you're gone
I'll take my chances
I forgot how nice romance is
I haven't been there for the longest time

I had second thoughts at the start
I said to myself
Hold on to your heart
Now I know the woman that you are
You're wonderful so far
And it's more than I hoped for

I don't care what consequence it brings
I have been a fool for lesser things
I want you so bad
I think you ought to know that
I intend to hold you for the longest time

Oh Oh Oh Oh
For the longest time
Oh Oh Oh Oh
For the longest time
Oh Oh Oh Oh
For the longest time

i received this 4 days ago from a very dear friend egging me on for the coming exams. indeed, i had been expecting another university prospectus but nay, it was this highly coveted tome of accurate, concise and very engaging anatomy that found its way into the harmless USmail packaging.

thank you, my friend. the intention behind it completely overshadowed the fact that your little gift did nothing good for my lenten promises, but who's complaining? you really surprise me in so many beautiful ways.

last saturday i went for a rock concert (of sorts) at the esplanade. it was the last of their 11pm late night concerts in line with the Mosaic music festival and, call me a bitch but what a way to end it all. the WHOLE CONCERT HALL was literally dancing throughout the length of the performance, and i'm talking 2 circle levels and the whole of the bottom floor, people of all different shapes and sizes (there was the expat family consisting of rebellious teenage son/hot sexy daughter, the odd old couple, the japanese fans who flew in, the social escorts (now this one was unexpected), the groups of young execs and of course the lonely singles (sigh)), people who came for reasons so different from each other (the girlfriend really wanted to watch the performance but the boyfriend was clearly uninterested, choosing instead to stare at said expat's daughter) - it truly was the weirdest amalgation of people unified in the celebration of music.

Labels: tokyo skas paradise orchestra

yeah. last anatomy group photo for the academic year! unglam and looks as if i've got a second neck (but you see, i do.)

its that time of the year again. but instead of writing about stress which is something common to all of us, i guess i'll just write about what wj was talking to me about (well, not exactly what we were talking about but what came to my mind after that). its not very believable when i tell people that i censor myself, and that's no one's fault either because i have a mouth the size of texas (thank you for that queer sling, tousif!). but if anything, if i could say anything at all about things which i mean to say but don't, it would be just as wj guessed it was - fear. but not any kind of fear. its the kind of fear that eats at you from inside like a festering disease, and you don't know it exists until later in life (age-related penetrance). im afraid, and i'm being extremely candid, that once you say something, it increases the chances of it being true, a fact, something undeniable. and that's why i won't say it out explicitly, because i don't really want some things to be true, to be undeniable facts because then i'd be vulnerable to even more judgement; from others or from myself. its like a feeling right at the tip of your tongue, a nice, fluttering, euphoric one, like having an immense crush. there's a magic to that emotion that gets smothered when you put it out in words. you keep it to yourself and it builds a bed of soft, tender roses you can throw yourself on whenever, wherever, deep inside yourself - like a haven of sorts. but when you say it, when it comes out in all its beauty or ugliness, then its open to criticism and pressures from other sources of influence. you're opening it to a myriad of things; greater cultivation of that majestic feeling, or its impending doom. but that's weakness in a very debilitating form, because you're maimed by your own reluctance to be honest with yourself, choosing instead to ride on a cloud. well i'll be damned if i stay in a rut like that forever. a bit of that honesty came out a while back when, in a rare moment of candour, i told someone how i felt. and it turned things around for the better. and better yet, God was there when it happened.

i went for mass again today. just like a week ago, listening really does wonders. the week before it was about reconciling myself with God and the people around me. I truly surrendered myself that day, because everything seemed to be so overwhelming, and after mass a flood of well wishes and warmth came my way from people i least expected it from. and God promises to walk with us as we carry our cross. We're not alone. None of us are. And the struggles we go through are good and justified because they're all part of His plan for us, of something bigger. with the biggest, nastiest exams just around the corner, you have no idea how comforting those words were.

Can i believe that i'm meant for greater things? Can i leave everything in His hands? Can i love like i've never been scarred before?





yes, i think i just might.







If I Could Be Like That - Three Doors Down

He spends his nights in California
watching the stars on the big screen
then he lies awake and he wonders
why can't that be me
cause in his life he's filled with all these good intentions
he's left a lot of things
he'd rather not mention right now
but just before he says goodnight
he looks up with a lil smile at me
and he says

CHORUS
if i could be like that
i would give anything
just to live one day in those shoes, if i could be like that
what would i do, what would i do